Request a drabble!
by crapfest
Summary: Come here and request a drabble for an IZ fic! I'll write about your OC's, your favorite pairings, or even crossovers! Whatever you want is fair game as long as it isn't hardcore smut.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey there Invader Zim fans! I have a proposition for you!**

**So there I was, just surfing the intertubes, allowing the mass in my body to slowly liquidate into a horrible blob, when all of a sudden, I discovered something called "Operation: Head Pigeons! I was so inspired by Operation: Head Pigeons, that I decided to write this fanfiction.**

**But what IS operation head pigeons, you may ask?**

**Operation Head Pigeons is an attempt to bring Invader Zim back in production.**

**"Ridiculous! Zim is dead!" you may say. **

**But is he really?**

**Not quite yet it seems. **

**A while ago, everyone in Operation Head Pigeons raided Nickelodeon with phone calls requesting them to bring Zim back.**

**Nickelodeon compromised. They are releasing a special DVD entitled "Operation: Doom". It contains the top rated Zim episodes. **

**If this DVD sells well enough, they will greenlight a new season of Invader Zim.**

**So anyways, about this fanfiction.**

**I decided that I need to help spread the word about Operation: Head Pigeons, and so here's what I'm gonna do: I will write a drabble for anyone who spreads the word about Operation: Head Pigeons. If you blog about it, I'll write a drabble for you about any IZ character you want. If you want, I'll include your own OC's. But you MUST tell somebody else for me to write you a drabble. Tweet it, make it your facebook status, put it in your Journal, whatever. Just tell people and I'll write you a drabble. (The drabble's will probably vary in length, but I'll try to make them all good, entertaining and long)**

**If you have any questions about Operation: Head Pigoens, message me. Or you could look up the group on Facebook and ask them.**

**Toodles.  
**


	2. Emily and Zim

**And now, for the first drabble! Which shall be about dearest Emily Rivera.**

**I'm sorry if Emily seems to be a but out of character, but I tried my best. **

**

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**Sitting at the breakfast table, eating a plate of waffles, Emily adjusted her glasses and yawned. In her opinion, it was WAY to early to even consider going to skool. She sighed and shoveled another soggy waffle into her mouth. Emily was incredibly tired and after a while, Emily began to nod off and in no time, she was face down, snoring in the waffles.

All of a sudden, Emily was awoken by the sound of glass shattering and the screaming of a familiar voice. She sat straight up, syrup still covering her face and saw Zim zooming about the kithcne, with shards of glass protruding from his face.

"ZIM! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO COME IN THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR?" emily bellowed

"BE SILENT HUMAN-PIG! OOH THE PAIN! ASSIST THE MIGHTY ZIM IN REMOVING THESE HORRIBLE GLASSY THINGS!" Zim spat, rubbing the glass out of his eyes. Emily sighed and helped him get the shards out of his HIDEOUS GREEN HEAD.

"I seriously don't understand why you have to break in through my window" Emily said and she kissed one of Zim's boo-boos better.

"IT WAS QUICKER!"

"I really doubt that. If you had just taken the door then-" Emily began, but Zim interrupted her.

"BE QUIET! ZIM DID NOT SHOW UP TO HAVE YOU SCOLD HIM! He has come to show you his INGENIOUS NEW CREATION. Soooo ingenious!"

"well where is it then?" Emily asked. Zim smirked and pulled a strange looking device out of a bag that he was carrying. It was covered in switches, knobs, buttons and many things that Emily couldn't identify. She tried to grab for it, but Zim pulled it away.

"BE CAREFUL EMILY-STINK! It is quite dangerous and if could easily spell your DOOM" he explained. Emily put her hands on her hips and cocked (heh) her head to one side.

"And what exactly is this ingenious device going to be used for, Zim?"

Zim smiled proudly.

"THIS is an ingenious device that when used on the DIB-FILTH, it will shove all of his HIDEOUS HUMAN ORGANS UP INTO HIS HIDEOUS BIG HEAD OF FILTH THAT IS DISTURBINGLY LARGE!" zim explained. Emily grinned from ear to ear.

"That's so AMAZING ZIM! YOU'RE SOOOOO INTELLIGENT! GET OVER HERE, YOU HUNK OF MAN AND SPRAY ME WITH YOUR ALIEN LOVE JUICE! HNNNNNNNG!"

wait no. that never happened.

"That's so Amazing, Zim! Let's go try it out!" she said. Zim nodded and picked Emily up by her head.

"YESSS! LET US GO!" he shouted, and he ran out of the house (through the broken window) and ran to Dib's house.

Meanwhile, at Dibs house...

Dib was pulling orange juice out of his fridge and took a huge drink of it straight from the carton. What a slob. He used his sleeve to wipe the juice off of his lips.

"Ahh. I have a feeling that today is gonna be just GREAT!" Dib said gleefully.

SMASH. Dib turned around to see that Zim and Emily had broken down his front door.

"Whuh huh?" Dib slurred.

" WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY INGENIOUS PLAN DIB-STINK?" Zim screamed. Dib frowned.

"You...haven't told me your plan yet." he pointed out. Zim frowned.

"oh. really?" he said, "well it's totally brilliant."

"oh. that's good"

"eh..yh..YES! IT IS! AND...UH...NOW I SHALL USE THIS AMAZING DEVICE ON YOUR TITANIC HEAD!"

"my heads not-" Dib shouted, but before he finished, Emily grabbed the gun and zapped Dib with it.

"AAAUUUUFFFFGGHGHHUUUUWWWUUUH! I DIDN'T AGREE TO THIS!" he screamed as his squishy Dibby organs were shot up into his head. Zim cackled. Him and Emily high fived and watched Dib writhe in HORRIBLE PAIN.

"Gwuuuh" dib moaned.

"Oh Zim, this is so wonderful," Emily said and she took Zim's hand. Zim smirked.

"YES! IT IS! AND NOW LET UP EXCHANGE SALIVA!" Zim proclaimed loudly.

"It's called a kiss"

"BE SILENT AND PLEASE THE ZIM!" Zim shouted, as he twirled Emily around and began to make-out with her.

They finished with the saliva exchange and held hands, watching Dib writhe in pain, drooling on the floor.

It sure was magical.

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**whew!there we go! Chapter one is finished! **

**Remember, if you request a drabble, you MUST spread the word about "Operation: Head Pigeons! You can Blog itm tweet it, write about it in your journal, submit a drawing of it to Deviantart, make it your facebook status or write a fanfic! The information to OHP is in chapter one. If you have any questions, you can message me or ask the kind worm-pigs at the Operation: Head Pigeons facebooks group!**

**Also, if you want me to write a drabble about your character, please send me a message describing them.  
**


	3. Skullene and Shen

**And now for a story about Skullene, the former invader and her lover Shen Baron, the vortian pirate! **

**Thanks for all of the reveiws for this! Keep it up and spread the word about Operation: Head Pigeons!

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**Sitting around a campfire at night on a distant planet with somebody that you only met a week ago can make you feel a little lonely**. **Especially if you happen to be stranded without a ship to bring you back home. This was the current situation that Shen and Skullene found themselves in. It was certainly awkward, what with the hatred between the two races and such. And Skullene being a bit of a pessimist and rather quiet didn't help. At the moment, Shen was out gathering some fire wood to keep the fire going.

Skullene sighed and looked at the stars, wishing that her ship was back, that she had some way of getting back home. She heard a rustling in the bushes and turned around to see Shen walking out with some sticks and branches.

"Hey there! I got some firewood! Now we won't freeze to death!" Shen said. Skullene smiled a bit and helped him distribute the wood on the flames.

Time passed and neither of them spoke. Until...

"So...you used to be an Invader huh?" Shen asked, trying to spark up a conversation. Skullene nodded but didn't say anything.

"That sounds pretty interesting. I suppose it must have been exciting to go to another planet and learn about the people there...an' stuff..." Shen said. Skullene looked at him curiously.

"...what?" Shen asked, worried that he had offended her somehow.

"Well...I'm just surprised that you brought up my being an Invader. I mean, Invaders are the reason that your species has become slaves to my race. It just seems like you wouldn't want to talk about that..." Skullene said.

"I'm not the type of person to hold a grudge. And besides, you haven't done anything to me personally, so why should I dislike you?" Shen explained. Skullene smiled and scooted a bit closer to the fire.

"Are you cold? I can lend you my overcoat." Shen offered. Skullene scoffed.

"Thanks, but I was an Invader. I don't need to be treated like a delicate lady" Skullene said. Shen chuckled.

The two of them sat by the fire for a while until they heard a strange growling. The two of them turned around and found themselves staring down the face of a ravenous, gigantic Bloogly-Beast.

"AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!" The two of them shreiked and they both took off running. The Bloogly Beast began chasing them immedietly.

"GAAAARROOOOOGGGGHHHAAAA!" It roared.

"SHEN!," She cried out, "If we split up then it can only track one of us!"

Shen nodded and they split up.

"_Oh gosh, I really hope it chooses Skullene"_ Shen thought to himself. Unfortunetly, he had no such luck. The Bloogly beast found him to be more appetizing.

"Aw balls!" he shouted. Shen quickly devised a plan to get out of this. He stopped and ducked. The Bloogly Beast soared right over him, it wasn't able to stop in time and it fell right into the fire. It howled once again.

"We did it!" Skullene exclaimed. Shen sighed with relief.

"That wasn't too scary." he said. Skullene nodded. They were about to sit down again, when the Bloogly beast moved. They froze. The Bloogly beast stood up on all fours and turned to them.

Shen's jaw dropped.

"GREAT JOB IDIOT!," skullene shouted, smacking Shen on the head, "Now we have to deal deal with a _flaming_ 800 pound bloogly beast!"

The two of them took off once more and the Bloogly pursued them.

Eventually, the two of them defeated the hideous Bloogly Beast using duct tape, some magic markers, Russian soup, a giraffe, five barrels of booze and the sheer power of Rock n' roll.

The two of them plopped down and watched the 800-pound corpse slowly burn.

"It kinda stinks" Shen observed. Skullened chuckled.

"It stinks about as bad as your plan to kill it with Duct Tape." Skullene teased. Shen put his hands on his hips.

"Hey! It worked didn't it?" He said. Skullene smiled.

"I guess so, but only AFTER I got it sufficiently drunk" she added. Shen rolled his eyes and grinned.

"Oh WHATever!" He said. They both laughed and huddled a bit closer together to keep warm.

"You're pretty cool for a Vortian, Shen." Skullene said.

"I know" he answered.

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**This one was a little bit difficult to write because I didn't have any cannon characters to use, but I really enjoyed writing it!**

**And no, I have no idea what the hell a Bloogly beast it. I just needed a name for a monster.**

**Anyways, remember to spread the word about Operation: Head Pigeons! If you have any questions, you can message me or ask Operation: Head Pigeons on facebook!**

**Toodles!  
**


	4. ZATR and Miz

**Thanks for all the positive reveiws, guys! Keep 'em up! **

**Today's drabble is about Zim, Tak and their beloved Smeet, Mizzy!**

**This is gonna be really hard for me to write, because personally, I hate the pairing ZATR. But I must! For Operation: Head Pigeons, I must!  
**

**On a side note, I am eating a muffin with weird sauce. It is good. yum yum yum.  


* * *

**It was a strange sort of love, between Tak and Zim. For the first few years, Tak tried to kill Zim hundreds of times. Eventually however, they became somewhat attached to eachother. It was like an odd game with the two of them. Tak would set up a ridiculously elaborate trap and Zim would inevitably become stuck in it. He always escaped though. That was obvious. If Tak didn't have Zim to play the game with, then what would be the purpose? And so, she never really killed him.

Zim being an idiot decided that Tak was crazy about him.

Eventually, Tak softened up to Zim, and somehow, the two of them compromised that they would take over the Earth and all of its smelly inhabitants, as a would set up a brilliant plan and then Zim would ruin it. It was basically the same formula as before, only this time they were working together. Two of a kind.

And then, Mizzy and her twin brother Zik were born. Two perfect little smeets, whom would soon grow up to be perfect little Invaders and crush the heads of all of the imperfect little humans.

The two smeets were always full of energy. They would constantly get into Zim's laboratory and ruin his machines. They raided the cookie jar, stole the ships, and wreaked havoc.

Naturally, GIR loved them.

And in a strange sort of way, their parents loved them too.

Soon, they grew old enough to attend Earth skool.

"BUT DADDY! I don't wanna go to Earth skool! The humans smell like dooky!" Miz whined.

"Yeah, and they're ugly too!" Zik added. Zim frowned and rubbed his chin.

"hmmmm dooky huh? WELL I guess you don't have to go to skoo-WAIT A MINUTE. YES YOU DO! STOP TRYING TO FOOL ZIM!" he shouted. Zik and Miz looked down sadly.

Suddenly, the author realized that Miz is Zim spelled backwards. Hmmm, something tells me that Zim named that one.

Anyways, The two smeets left for their first day at human-pig skool. Tak grabbed them before they went out the door.

"And what are you two forgetting?" She asked. They looked at eachother, looked back at Tak and shrugged. Tak facepalmed and looked at Zim to see if he could tell what they were missing.

Zim frowned.

"eeehhhhhhh...they don't have robot-death-monkeys?" he suggested. Tak sighed.

"Disguises!" she said.

"OOOOHHH YEEEAAAHHH!" the two smeets said in unison. Tak sighed and projected two holographic disguises onto the two of them.

"NOW, you two can leave." Tak said, exasperated. The smeets smiled and left the house.

There was a silence.

"Can **I **have a robot death monkey?" Zim asked.

"No"

Time flew by and the smeets grew older at a rapid rate. Everything seemed fine and Tak and Zim were certain that they would make fine young Invaders. They taught the smeets everything they knew. Specifically, to keep away from humans and not trust any of them. They were revolting little pig-smellies that were simply not worth paying attention to. They also taught them advanced robot mechanics, and how to successfully gather information about a planet and its weaknesses.

That is, until one day only Zik returned home from Skool.

"Where's your sister?" Tak asked. Zik shrugged.

"I dunno. She got all mad at me and took a different route home." Zik explained. Tak nodded and walked away, trusting her daughters sense of direction.

The first two hours didn't worry anybody. Maybe Miz stopped at a friends house.

The third hour, Tak began to worry, but Zim was confident that any daughter of his would be superior enough to fine her way home.

By the fourth hour, Tak sent out a robot to go retrieve her.

By the sixth hour, Zim and Tak were searching the town for her themselves.

"Where are you guys going?" Zik asked.

"We're going to go find your sister" Tak explained.

"Can I come?"

"No, Zik. You stay here."

The two of them left and began scourging the city for any sign of their smeet. They couldn't find any.

Fortunately, however, Tak had built a device that was capable of tracking down the signals sent from the smeet's PAK. She pulled it out and the two Irkens began to follow the signal.

"This is ridiculous!" Zim exclaimed, "Any smeet that possesses my SUPERIOR genetics will have no problem getting home! She's probably just been eating dirt for hours or something! Smeets like dirt."

Tak sighed and tried her best to ignore Zims idiocy.

Tak and Zim rounded the corner where the device said her PAK would be.

And there it was. They had successfully located her PAK.

The only problem was that Miz wasn't attached to it. Tak gasped and ran towards it. She checked how long the PAK had been off of her precious smeet, hoping that it would be less than ten minutes.

There was no such luck. The PAK had been removed for almost four hours. There was no possible way that Miz would still be alive.

For once in his life, Zim was silent. Even he understood what this meant.

Tak was shaking. Not only with grief, but also with untempered rage. Somebody had done this to her. There was no way her PAK would just fall off. Some human had removed it.

Zims first thought was that Dib had removed it, but he soon dismissed this. As revolting as the Dib-stench was, he would never purposefully kill a child. No, whoever did this was nothing like Dib.

The two of them walked home, in grief. They walked home, not to cry and mourn their smeet. There would be plenty of time for that later.

They walked home, so that they could build a device that would be powerful enough to track down Miz's killer and extract revenge on him.

* * *

**WHOOOG! This was really difficult to write, but I really enjoyed it!**

**It was fun writing about smeets, but it was also hard to keep Zim in character and also have him mourn the death of a smeet.**

**I think I did pretty well.**

**Anyways, remember to spread the word about Operation: Head Pigeons! If you have any questions about it, you can message me or ask them directly through their facebook group!**

**Toodles!  
**


	5. Lace and Zim

**UNFFFFFF **

**I LOVE THIS MUTHERFOOKING BURRITO!**

**SOOOO GOOD!**

**anyways, This drabble details the wonderful life of Invader Lace! And her wonderful love-interest, Invader Zim.**

**You guys sure do like OC's. I used to have some OC's a while ago. Maybe I'll write a drabble about them. They were awesome.**

**And remember, if you want a free drabble, you MUST spread the word about Operation: Head Pigeons.**

**

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**An Invader should always act like a professional! There was no time for touchy-feely mushy love kissy kissy goo goo stuff. Zim, of course, firmly believed this. This was why he tried to steer clear of the peculiar human girl, Lace. She was new to Zim's class and for some bizarre reason, Zim felt attracted to her. Feeling that this attachment could compromise his mission, he decided to destroy her. One day, Zim was following home a random human child and ranting at him about Lace.

"THAT HIDEOUS EARTH GIRL! She infuriates me I tell you! She's always in class and she just SITS THERE. Ya know what I mean? It's RIDICULOUS!" Zim shouted. The child looked horrified.

"Why do you keep following me home? I don't know you." he muttered timidly. Zim ignored him and continued to rant.

"I mean, HOW DARE SHE! And she sits at lunch, and doesn't eat the earth food! What kind of a human-smelly doesn't eat the earth food? Huh? HUH? HUH? **HUH!"**

They had arrived at the childs house. He immediately ran inside and locked the door behind him. Zim walked up to his front door and continued ranting.

" And she's HIDEOUS as well! Not to mention, she has the NERVE to join the class of ZIM halfway through the year! Someday, I shall destroy her. Yesssss I WILL DESTROY HER!" Zim shrieked.

The child watched Zim walk away from the house through the window ranting about the Lace-human. He shuddered.

Meanwhile Zim was still ranting to himself, even when he got home. GIR stared at him while he talked, but didn't say anything.

"RRRRGGGH! THAT WRETCHED HUMAN!" Zim screamed, and he hurled a spare pig at GIR's head. GIR ate the piggy and smiled at Zim.

"Awwww somebody's got a crush!" GIR squealed. Zim lifted an eyebrow.

"Crush? That's a revolting idea GIR! Zim would never fall for a mere human! This Lace-worm is merely an obstacle that Zim must destroy!" Zim spat. GIR giggled.

"I'm gonna be the flower girl!" GIR said, while wiggling. Zim kicked him.

"There will be no flowered children, GIR. Zim does not even enjoy the presence of the Lace-worm. I would never go to the lengths of actually hiring a flower-girl to celebrate our FILTHY HUMAN UNION!" He screeched. GIR screamed and ran out the the room.

The next day, Zim returned to skool and was confronted by the new girl, Lace at lunch. This time, she walked up to him and began to vomit language. It was all very revolting.

"Hello Zim. My name's Lace. I was wondering if maybe you'd wanna hang out some time?" Lace asked cheerfully. Zim took a step back.

"EEEEEHH! I am sorry Lace-worm, but quite frankly, you revolt me and I would never _NEVUUUR_ 'hang out' with a PITIFUL human." Zim said. Lace giggled.

"You're not very smart are you, Zim?" she asked. Zim grimaced.

"IAMBRILLIANT!"

"That's nice. Hey so, why don't we go to the park?" she asked, twirling her black hair.

"NEVER!" Zim shouted. Lace grabbed his arm and began to drag him away. Zim squirmed and wiggled, but Lace had an extremely tight grip on him. She dragged him to the park, wearing a very determined look on her face. Zim began to think through his options. The first option would be to gnaw his arm off at the shoulder, the second would be to self-destruct, and the third would be to start viciously making out with the Lace-worm. Out of these three options, Zim preferred the arm gnawing.

Soon, they reached the park, where Lace sat Zim down on a bench. Zim scanned for possible exits.

"Zim, there's something I need to tell you" Lace began to explain.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Zim bellowed. Lace glared at him and covered his mouth.

"Now Zim, you've probably noticed that I don't eat the earth food, and I don't talk to the earth children, and I generally don't act like a normal human".

"No"

"...Well, there's a reason for that"

"eh?"

Lace sighed and gestured to her PAK, which was a pinkish gray. Zim looked at the PAK in confusion. He clearly couldn't differentiate between a PAK and a normal bookbag. He looked at the PAK, to Lace, and back again.

"eh?" he asked again. Lace sighed, disgruntled.

"It's a PAK, Zim! I'm an IRKEN!" she said. Zim's eye's opened wide.

"You...you...you...YOU'RE LYING!" he screeched and he began to claw at her. Lace shook her head, pulled out a device and pressed a few buttons. Immedietly, her holographic disguise was disabled and she was Irken plain as could be. Pink eyes, and curled antennae. Zim gasped and fell off of the bench. He pointed at her, amazed.

"See? I really am Irken. I was sent here because the Tallest feared that the humans might attack the massive. I mean, they ARE rather tall. So I came here, to ensure that your mission went smoothly." Lace said. Zim turned around and began to calculate what the meanign of this was.

"If the Lace-worm is really a Lace-Irken then that explains why I was so attracted to her," Zim muttered, "YES! I SENSED THE SUPERIOR IRKEN GENETICS!"

"I can hear everything you're saying." Lace said. Zim rubbed his big ol' head in concentration. He then turned sharply around, facing Lace.

"Dearest Lace, I must admit that I have the feels for you and I would enjoy the eternal bonding of our superior bodies in the glory that is love-vomiting" Zim spat. Lace wiped his saliva off of her face.

"I'm sorry what?" she asked, perplexed, "I was just going to help you with your mission"

Zim frowned.

"But...LOVE-VOMIT!" he exclaimed.

"Weeellll...I dunnoo" Lace teased. Zim tensed up in anticipation.

"But! You are a wondrous Lace-worm!" he said. Lace nodded in a way that said she agreed with her own wonderfulness.

"But then, why did you hate me so much when you thought I was human?" she asked.

"Humans are FFFFILTHY and Inferior. Zim did not want to degrade himself to loving a human. But if you truly are Irken, then that's okay." he said. Lace smiled.

"I see. Well, Zim, I'm sure you'll be interested to know, that I like you too" Lace said. Zim grinned.

"YES! Now let us go to the Zim house of Zim and-"

"Shouldn't we be getting back to skool?"

And so, the two Irkens returned to the skool, and would soon participate in the making of Love-vomit.

* * *

**WOOOO-EEEH.**

**That was kinda difficult.**

**Remember the spread the word about Operation: Head Pigeons. If you want a drabble, you MUST tell somebody about Operation: Head Pigeons. That goes doubly for more then one request! If you have any question about Operation: Head Pigeons, you can message me and ask or you can ask the group on Facebook.**

**Toodles!  
**


	6. WORKING ON IT RIGHT NOW

A**DSDDHSJFKAGSAKFDFH **

**FUUUUUUUUU**

**I'M SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN FOREVER. I'M WRITING THE NEXT CHAPTER RIGHT NOW. I HAVE BEEN A BAD LITTLE NOODLE.**

**I WILL BE DONE WITH ALL THE NEW REQUESTS BY TUESDAY AT THE LATEST.**

**TOODLES!  
**


	7. Skullen and shen part 2

**ASDFHGSFJSDFA**

**I'M SO SORRY THAT I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN FOREVER.**

**I'M A BAD PERSON.**

**YOU CAN THROW ROCKS AT ME NOW.**

**Anyways, yeah I'm sorry I haven't updated lately. I've been really busy with YOUR MOM.**

**AAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA  
**

**

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**The Tallest listened as the Irken told his story. His name was Envon and the Tallest trusted his judgment immensely. Not only that, but he was close to their height and was also an Admiral. However, despite all of this, Envon was still having difficulty convincing that Tallest of his latest 'plan'. They simply would not have it. It was hard to even get them to listen to him for more than five minutes.

"And so my Almighty Tallest, that is why I believe you should reinstate Skullene as an Invader" Envon said, wrapping up his speech. Tallest Purple looked up from his sack of donuts. Chunks of sticky dough were still covering his face. He snorted.

"I'm sorry what?" he slurred. Envon sighed and tried to stay patient. He didn't expect this to be easy.

"Were you listening to anything I just said?" He asked. Red scoffed.

"Well _obviously_ he wasn't!" Red said.

"Were you listening, Tallest Red?"

"Ehh not really."

Envon closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Well, My tallest, I was just explaining how bringing Skullene back as an Invader could have it's benefits. I mean, she did conquer the planet, Venira. And you KNOW how troublesome that has been for the Armada. All I'm saying is that she could help the Armada even more if you decided to bring her back." Envon said slowly. Tallest Red rubbed his chin in thought.

"hmmmmm Venira eh? Well that planet WAS giving us a ton of issues back then" He said thoughtfully. Purple nodded in agreement.

"Yeah! Those guys suck! I'm glad we killed them all" he said cheerfully. Envon smiled slightly and perked up.

"So you'll reinstate her as an Invader?" he asked. The Tallest looked at eachother.

"weeeellll...I dunno..."

"May I remind you that she has also conquered two other planets on her own?" Envon added.

Purple shifted his weight from side to side.

"Well I don't see what we could loose from it. Why not?" Purple said. Red smiled and nodded approvingly.

"Alright Admiral. We'll rehire Skullene as an Invader. But first we have to find her. Do you have any idea at all where she is?" Red asked. Envon furrowed his brow.

"eeeehhhhuuuhhh I think she's somewhere in the Pices-Cetus Supercluster Complex." Envon said. Tallest Red deadpanned.

"That's an awfully big area to search for one person. Is there any way you could...I dunno...find her exact coordinates or something?" Red suggested. Envon frowned and tried to quickly think of a way to locate Skullene.

"Her PAK!", he said, "We can trace her down by plugging her PAK data into the massive computer. Then it can scan the Supercluster for a...general idea of where she could be!"

"alright then. YOU! WORTHLESS GUARD! Plug in Invader Skullene's PAK data. Tell us where she's located" Purple shouted. The guard immediately got to that. There was a pause, in whioch the massive was scanning the cluster, and then...

"Invader Skullene current galactic coordinates are ten-zero-eleven-zero-zero by zero-two from galactic zero centre. The kasterborous constellation." The computer whirred.

"Well then let's go!" Purple shouted and he smacked the button for hyper-space travel. All of the unprepared Irkens were hurled from where they were standing and smacked against the wall of the Massive. Meanwhile, the rest of the Armada was left wondering why the hell their leaders would randomly hyper-jump without them. THOSE CRAZY TALLEST!

As the massive approached the Kasterborous constellation the computer continued to whir and spit out more and more specific coordinates. Eventually, they were guided to a large red-orange planet near the center of the constellation. The massive plowed through all of the defensive shields that the planet set up and landed on a house in the mountains. Whoever living inside of it probably wasn't important anyways. Most likely just some stupid hermit.

"Well here we are." Purple said, and he pointed to three random guards, "YOU! Go assist Admiral Envon in finding Invader Skullene. And buy me some pizza while you're out"

The guards nodded and followed Admiral Envon out of the massive.

"Aw man! I forgot to tell them to put anchovies on the pizza!" Purple said.

Meanwhile, the four Irkens were patrolling the red planet for Skullene. They had taken a portable tracker with them and they were closing in on their target.

"My feet hurt" whined one of the guards. Envon smacked him on the head and told him to stop whining. The guarded cried a little.

They continued walking until one of the guards pointed to a small irken voot cruiser a few yards ahead of them.

"That's probably her cruiser!" He shouted. The four of them ran towards the cruiser and Envon opened it up.

Envon took a step back when he saw who else was in the Voot cruiser with Skullene. Skullene and Shen jsut stared at the Irkens. There was a long silence.

"Well, " said the Vortian, "THIS is awkward."

Skullene and Shen were in a rather compromising...ehem..._position. _And although they were both mostly clothed, it was pretty obvious what was going on.

"WHAT...What the hell?" shouted Envon, "Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to get the Tallest to reconsider you as an Invader? HUH?"

"I-WHAT? Well you could have told me that you were coming NOW!" She shouted right back. One of the guards truend to another.

"What the hell is going on?" he asked.

"I dunno man, reminds me of a soap opera" he replied. Skullene stuffed Shen into the clost of the cruiser and stepped out of it.

"Look, I can explain-" she began.

"EXPLAIN? EXPLAIN? I don't think you need to explainw hat was going on! It's pretty obvious what you were doing with that Vortian! Do you realize what the tallest will do to you-TO US if they find out aboput this?" He said. Skullene crossed her arms.

"WELL...I don't care! That Red guy is a creepy anyways! He hates me and I hate him!" She spat, "If I ever see him again I'll beat the shit outta him! I don't wanna work for you guys!"

Envon put his head in his hands. The tallest would never listen to him again. This incident would probably result in him getting demoted even though none of it was even his fault! He sighed and began wondering what to do.

"Well why don't we just...hey...weren't there three guards who came with me?" Envon said, looking around. The two guards looked at eahcother, and then behind themselves to see the third guard running back towards the Massive. He was likely to tattle on them and have all of them get in major trouble.

"YOU GET BACK HERE YOU SCUM!" Envon shouted and he began to run after him. If the guard reached the tallest and told them everything, there was a possibility that Skullene could be banished, or even executed for 'fraternizing with the enemy'.

"Today sucks" Skullene said, and she returned to her Voot cruiser and flew away.

* * *

**ANYWAYS YEAH, I'm glad that I'm writing these again. I would make the excuse that I was busy with school, but the truth is that I'm just a lazy bastard.**

**The facebook group for Operation: Head Pigeons was deleted by the way. Nobody knows why, but they have the 'Operation: Head Pigeons 2.0' group up and running now, so if you haven't liked it yet go do that now!**

**Remember to spread the word about OHP! Tweet it, facebook it, put it on your tumblr and then reblog it, make a deviation about it, put together a youtube video, invite all of your friends to join the facebook group, write a fanfiction about it, and if you're stupid you can tell 4chan about it. I wouldn't recommend that though. **

**Remember, if you want a drabble then you MUST spread the word about OHP! The same thing applies for sequels to previous drabbles! If I write two stories for you, then you have to make two tweet or videos or fanfics or deviations about it!**

**Toodles!  
**


	8. Skoodge and Sayphre

**YOU GUYS**

**YOU CRAZY GUYS**

**WHAT THE FUCK YOU GUYS?**

**AHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA**

**FOR SERIOUS THOUGH.**

**FOR SERIOUS.

* * *

**Being a bodyguard for the Almighty Tallest was NOT an easy job.

Okay, so that was a lie. It was one of the easiest jobs out there. They rarely had any intruders on the Massive, and the Tallest were almost NEVER threatened. Not to mention, they usually sent a random worker to do their dirty work. The only real threat to the Tallest was Zim's constant stupidity. It was for this reason that Sayphre loved being the Tallest's bodyguard. Sure it could get a little risky when they visited enemy planets. But besides that, all she had to do was stand next to them and look busy. It was much better than her last job, being an Invader. As an Invader she was always getting into dangerous situations. It was tiring and pointless, so she became a bodyguard instead. That wasn't tiring at all, although it was rather pointless.

The only positive thing that Sayphre could remember about being an Invader was a short, fat, badass little Irken Invader named Skoodge. Skoodge was friendly, and sweet and he was also majorly hardcore. Skoodge managed to conquer the home of the slaughtering rat people all by himself. Yes, Saphyre had really enjoyed Skoodge's company when they were training to become Invaders. She was very disappointed that she didn't get to see him much anymore.

It was the end of a very long day and Sayphre retreated back to her bedroom for the night. It was large and quite luxurious, considering her height. She yawned and flopped down on her cushy bed. She was about to drift off into sleep when she head her telecommunicator buzz on. She looked up at the large screen on her wall and saw that it was Skoodge. She smiled and jumped off of her bed, nearly tripping over her own two feet in excitement.

"Skoodge!," Sayphre exclaimed, "I haven't seen you in forever! Where the hell have you been?"

"Weelll...I was kinda busy...with being horrendously mauled by slaughtering rat people and such. But I'm okay now" Skoodge explained, "I killed them all!"

Sayphre giggled. Ha ha, massive genocide was hilarious! She then sighed and took a seat back on her bed, placing her head in her hands.

"Oh Skoodge. It sure is boring around here. I mean, it's exciting whenever you're on the massive with me but without you it's just so...Tedious!" Sayphre complained. Skoodge nodded, knowing what she meant.

"Well, I'm kinda having the same situation here. The slaughtering rat people have been crushed and I now I have nothing to do but wait for the Tallest to assign me to another planet for conquering." Skoodge whined. Suddenly, the screen was filled with white static. Sapyhre sat up, confused.

"Skoodge?" she asked the static. For a second, the screen returned to normal and Saphrye could hear shouts and screams coming from it. Skoodge was currently busy getting mauled to death by the slaugtering rat people. Sapyre gasped.

"SKOODGE! SKOODGE ARE YOU ALRIGHT?" Sayphre exclaimed. The screen returned to static. Sayphre stood up and started trying to fix the transmission in a panic. No matter how much she fiddled with it, nothing seemed to change. She began to panic. What if the slaughtering rat people killed Skoodge? And she wasn't there to save his ass? Sayphre attempting to form a connection with him one more time, and failed miserably. She ran outside of her room and to the escape pod deck. If she could get into a pod, she could track Skoodge's PAK down and rescue him!

When she got there, however, a small irken with purple eyes was blocking the entrance. Everything was locked up.

"I need to get an escape pod! Let me in!" she demanded. The Irken sighed and shook his head.

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Sayphre" The short Irken said. Sayphre stomped her foot.

"I outrank you dammit! Now let me in!" she ordered. The Irken shook his head once again.

"Nobody is allowed to take any escape pods. We've had several pod thefts and several prisoner escape in them so-" he said, but Sayphre grabbed him by his tie and lifted him up to her height.

"Listen to me shorty! I am one of the tallest's bodyguards and you are nothing but a pathetic little doorstop for the pod deck! Now LET ME IN!" she shouted. The little Irken was gasped for breath and trying to say something. Saypjhre refused to loosne her grip.

"I...I can't! Dir...Direct orders from...The tallest!" he gasped out. Sayphre dropped him on the ground and ran away enraged. He gulped down a huge breath of air.

"Man, what a bitch" the Irken mumbled as he took out a bottle of scotch and drained it down.

Meanwhile, Sayphre had run into the main bridge, where the controls for the Massive where located. The tallest weren't there, so she didn't have to fight anyone for the controls.

Sayphre ran to the main computer and typed in the coordinates for Skoodge's PAK. She set them for their next destination and slammed the hyperdrive button. The massive took off.

Meanwhile, the rest of the Armada was starting to get really pissed off with all of these sudden Hyper-jumps that the Massive wasn't telling them about.

"Those guys suck" remarked one irken.

It only took the Massive a matter of seconds to locate the planet that Skoodge was on. Once it landed, Sayphre jumped into a Voot Cruiser and began to scan the planet for Skoodge.

"Come on...come on! Where the hell are you Skoodge?" She spat. Just then, the computer beeped, indicating that it had located Skoodge. Sayphre grinned and went down for a landing.

Once she landed, she saw Skoodge laying a few meters away. He seemed to be covered in blood. No doubt he was mauled to death by rat people.

Sayphre ran towards him and examined the damage. It was sever alright, but nothing that she couldn't fix. Skoodge would be able to pull through. He was a major badass after all.

In fact, Skoodge is probably the most badass character in the entire show. Seriously.

Sayphre picked up Skoodge and hurried him back to the voot cruiser. She hooked up his PAK to the voot and gave him a 'jumpstart'.

The PAK began to repair itself. Sayphre could bring Skoodge to the medical bay later. What was most important was saving his PAK.

Sayphre looked around as the PAK healed itself and she saw three corpses of slaughtering rat people. They were dead as doorknobs. Skoodge had fought off three rat people and lived to tell the tale.

What a major fucking Badass.


End file.
